Rethinking

I was drawing last night, and I was listening to all of my AKB songs. Then I was up all of the night thinking.
Something bothered me about what I posted yesterday in my post (My conclusion about AKB)

It's been bothering me all day, so now I have to fix it.

I was listening to the B sides of Beginner "Boku dake no value" "Mint ni tsuite" "Nakeru Basho" I realized I really loved them (especially boku dake no value) I had never listened to them before, I never gave them a chance and I don't know why. This made me realize something.

Okay yes, there are many annoying things that AKB does that bothers me.

Like their songs. It's either a moderately uplifting song, or a slow ballad. ALL of their songs fit in this category. (except Beginner and RIVER) There's no variation! I wish they'd add funny noises in their music like H!P does to theirs. I wish they'd let lose and have fun.

But I can't change that, their just not type of group.

I'll still be a moderately casual fan though.
And I still think Momoiro clover is better and more creative.

But I realize I can never hate AKB.
I may like Momosu waaaay more them them, but we all have groups we love and groups we like right?

.

My conclusion about AKB

 I got into jpop through the H!P group, berryz koubou. Berryz led me to the rest of H!P including Morning Musume. They opened the doors to other groups in H!P, say, AKB for instance. I've always focused on berryz. After all, they were the group that led me into this wonderful world of music.
Then, I discovered AKB. But just like momosu, I was pretty casual about them. I loved their music, but I didn't want to learn their names and I didn't want to go around and discuss them on forums. I didn't feel like I loved AKB and momosu as much as berryz.

In early 2010, I started to really get into momusu. I learned their names, what they looked like, and what their voices sounded like. I started participating in the momusu forums, searching for older songs by them (Renai Revolution <3). I wished I was at anime expo (where they performed) I'd always watch the PV's and concert video's on youtube over and over. I cried when Koharu graduated (she was my favorite member) And bawled when Kamei Eri, and the panda's graduated. (I was just getting to know linlin and junjun!) I watched the kyuukies audition (I love you Zukki, Mogi) in suspense in who would be joining momusu. Cried when I saw maji desu ka ska! and how cute the girls looked. I rejoiced when maji desu ka ska and only you hit 1 million views.
 Suddenly the "oh, this group looks cool but berryz are better" went to "oh wow, I love these girls just as much as berryz" And it happened naturally. I didn't force myself to be interested in momusu, It came freely. Of course during this time, I got more into AKB too. When they had a new single, I'd always be sure to add it to my ipod. I'd glance once or twice at their PV's, but never watching the whole thing.

So I guess you could say, I've always been a momusu girl. No matter how hard I tried to get into AKB as much as momusu, It didn't work. There's just these little thing about AKB that annoy me. Soon, I started feeling bitter towards them. I guess them selling 1 million copies per single compared to momusu's 40k has something to do with it. But that's not all:

• AKB doesn't sing live that much. That shows the world that you can't sing. It takes great effort to sing and dance at the same time. I tried it, it's really hard. People come to your concerts to hear you. What's the point if your dancing along to some studio recording? Otherwise, they can just plug in their ipods and listen to the song.

• AKB's fan service is just too much for me. In a poll, it showed that girls and boys around age 20 were the biggest AKB fans. The male and female section were nearly equal, which means that AKB's fans have just as many female fans as male fans. Then why all the fan service? Every other week, I see a magazine filled with Mayuyu or Acchan or Tomochin wearing sexy lingerie in suggestive poses. Photobooks that are made so you can "pretend" your on a date with the member. And Heavy Rotation. WTF was that? TEENAGED girls in lingerie wearing cat ears and kissing each other?! Over in Japan, it may be "cute" but over in America, If a girl or girl group did that, they'd be highly looked down upon and shunned. That sexy stuff and Lingerie is for Women, adults like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. Teenaged girls shouldn't be playing around in that stuff.

•  The senbatsu elections are pointless. It is the same people every time. Every. Freaking. Time.

• Their sales keep going up for every single, which is a good thing. However, their sales keep going up regardless of how good the song is. It's just like how twilight got popular. Everyone suddenly notices it, and it becomes waaayy popular, waayy overrated. People are buying AKB stuff just because it's AKB, and it's what's in now. It doesn't mean they necessary like it, but they just want to be normal and be up to date with what's "in".

• They are just "too in your face" Participating in photo shoots, commercials, dramas, baseball games! Tokyohive makes it their goal to post an AKB article every five seconds. I just want to yell "I'm tired of seeing you"

There's more, lots more, but this is all I can think of now.
It sounds like I hate AKB, but really, I don't.
I have all of their singles on my ipod (except chance no junban D: and everyday kachuusha) and a select few songs off of albums and stages that I like. I've finally some to a conclusion after weeks of contemplating.

I'm going to be a casual about AKB, a casual fan.

I'm not going to go on AKB forums and spend my time watching PV's and concerts.When they have a new single, I'll listen to it, see If I like it. If I do, great, I'll buy it. If not, then, well, ignore. I'm just not going to do the same things with AKB that I do with momusu and berryz.
And what's wrong with that?
AKB may be Japan's #1 girl group, but that doesn't mean I have to be a die hard fan and worship them like goddesses. I think a causal fan will be much better. That way, I don't have to be rude to anybody when I read AKB related news on tokyohive or youtube. This fan war, these fights, this AKB vs momusu thing has worn me out. I can't be a fan of  both.

I choose momusu.
I'm pretty sure it has always been momusu. 

Momoiro Clover should be in AKB's place. Momoclo should be selling millions. I listen to their songs and think "wow, I've never heard anything like this before" I watch their PV's and I'm totally entertained. They have cool outfits (not school uniforms like most groups, except Ikuze! Kaitou Shojo) They do things that AKB would never do. Like wear coconuts on their boobs, or dance crazily. They aren't afraid to dress up as power rangers and look stupid. Their wild, crazy, and are all about having fun.Everything they do is original. Their unique. And that's what I like.

I wish AKB all the luck in the world. They've already sold millions, breaking lots of records and making history. Soon, they'll break the record for momusu's Love Machine which sold around 1.6k. Everyday Kachuusha sold around 1.5k, so I'll know they'll break the record with their next single. Personally, songs like 10nen Sakura, Sakura no Hanabiratachi, Boku no Taiyou, all of their older songs has this aura, this spark to them, which made them lovely songs. After Sakura no Shiori, AKB just kind of lost that spark for me.

I am going to this school no matter what! +rant

Anime and manga definitely helped me like Japan and get me into it, but I do not love Japan only for anime and manga. I love the language, culture, and history (even though I don't know much about these!)
That's why, before I die, I'd really like to visit there!

Next year, I hear my school is doing another exchange program, this time, Arundel students have a chance to go over to Sagamihara (near Tokyo) and visit their school. I don't know if this is official, but if it is, I'd be so happy! I already talked it over with my mom. She's worried about me going over there. I reassured her at least 2 teachers would come with us, and we'd be in groups (most of the time). Plus, I know a junior who I talk to that said she wants to go to. My mom never said a definite "NO", but it wasn't a yes either... I hope she lets me go. I have high confidence that I can pass the test (well, at least I think there's a test...) This is my dream...

I also really want to attend this school: http://www.japanese-school-asahi.com/
Asahi Nihongo, a school in Fukuoa, Japan dedicated to teaching students all over the world Japanese language and culture. It seems like a really cool school!

• Instead of of sitting in boring classrooms all day long, they host parties, field trips, and activities ranging from Hanami to martial arts to manga drawing workshops. They let you learn Japanese, while learning the culture too. 
• The pay also seems affordable. It's all under $1000 (If you stay for 2 weeks or less)
• You can choose where to stay. I'd probably stay in a flat, dorm, or with a host family. With a host family, I know I'd be super awkward. I'd worry about embarrassing myself in front of them, or being rude on accident O____O
• There's testimonials,which reassures me.

I don't see any downsides to this school!
When can I go to this school? Next Summer In 2 years? 5 years? When I get out of college? Japan just had numerous earthquakes and a tsunami hit them... they are healing, so I don't know. I thought the Summer course could be a good idea, but that course is only like 5 days *____* That's waay too short!

Why do I even have an interest in Japan? If manga/anime (which got me into Japan in the first place) was started in India, would I love India like this? What about Australia? Britain? Naahh, probably not. I love India. The clothes, the culture, the race. (chocolate skin and dark hair. Indians look very pretty <3 I love Australian and British accents, or any accent for that matter)

Who knows?

RANT:
I don't talk about Japan around anyone, because really, who cares? I like Japan, but why do I need to talk about it 24/7? Though one time I did, around my friend N. I regret it. Here's what happened:

N: *scream*
Me:What?
N: WE'RE LEARNING ABOUT RUSSIA!!! (we're in world history class)
Me: *shrugs* okay
N: I LOVE RUSSIA!!!
Me: Okay... clam down. We're learning about Japan and you don't see me screaming.
N: But your not even Japanese...
Me: ...And? So what? Do you have a point? Your obsessed with Russia.
N: Well, I'm Russian, and I like other countries too.
Me: Okay, Yeah, me too. I really like India, the culture and customs.
N: What are you talking about?
Me: *face plam* Oh, never mind

That was like a slap to my face. I know I'm not Japanese. I am AFRICAN AMERICAN. And the last time I heard, I don't have to be Japanese to visit Japan and learn the culture. Oh. You think just because your Russian (I'm talking about N) You can love Russia, and because I'm not Japanese, I can't love Japan?

BS
I was bitter towards her the rest of class as much as I could without being obvious.
After that situation, I never say anything about Japan.
She used to be into anime/manga until she apparently thought it was "lame" or "uncool" and left. (which is tottaly fine) She still thinks I'm so anime/manga japan obsessed person. (despite me not going to anime club in forever) which is sad, but oh well. Even I'm drifting away from anime/manga. I still like it, but its not where In was a few years ago. me a few years ago:

"OMG!!! The next chapter of ________ came out!!! I HAVE TO READ IT!!"
"OMG!!!   I HATE sasuke, he's so annoying"
"OMG!!! Funimation FINALLY got new anime"
*logs onto computer at school**goes straight to mangafox*
now: *logs onto computer at school.**goes straight to jpop asia*
Yeah. Much more into jpop (that is my anime/manga substitute)
maybe if we turned our anime club into an "Asian pop culture" club, or  (because why does our club have to stick that that?) "pop culture" club, I'd actually show up.

I'm also getting sick of some of my friends who are 1/2 asian or 1/4 asian or 1/8 asian. They'll be like: "We can do this because we're Asian" "it's an Asian thing" "You can't do it because your not Asian*

I want to slap them all in the faces. endlessly.

It's not that I'm jealous (I'm not) It's just so annoying having to hear it all of the time. it's not as If your even full Asian. Your half or a fourth or an eighth. Maye I could make an acception If you were full, but your not. You connect these statements with these stereotypes. You say you hate stereotypes, and that their wrong, yet you use them all of the time. random generated conversation:

J: "My parents grounded me because I got a B in Spanish"
K: "Ha ha, J, you parents are so Asian"

WTF? 
EVERY race wants their child to do good. Lots of non Asian parents (depending on the parents) will get mad If a B (and not an A) is mad in the class. My mom will get mad at me If I get a B in a class she knows I can get an A in, like gym or facts or something.

It's as simple as that.

My friend N, used to do it a lot too, but now she doesn't.
And I love her for that <3

Every time someone does it, I just kind of mentally roll my eyes. (I don't want to be rude)
It's not just me, I see the annoyed looks on some other people's faces too.

we're all just too nice to say anything.